Barrett Junction Cafe & Mercantile

Snipe Hunting with Biker Tommy

Another story written by Leon Herzog from his Legends and Lore in the Shadow of Tecate Peak Collection.

Some facts about snipes in and around the “World Famous Barrett Junction Cafe & Mercantile.”

  1. Snipes are usually found in mountainous areas, but can be found wherever mischievous children or adults are located.  Especially around children’s hospitals.
  2. All Snipes are nocturnal, they sleep during the day because they have too much fun during the night.  They are not like humans.  Humans can have fun twenty-four hours a day under special conditions.  But snipes have a built in internal clock which allows only fun during the night times.
  3. It has been observed that humans can take on behavior of certain types of snipes if exposed to the hypnotic walk of a snipe.

Be advised children, it is best to keep your parents home during the night or they may return with snipe like characteristics.  If your parents, guardian, or best friends display the following behavior, then they have been hypnotically sniped

A. Do they blow bubbles on your skin until you are laughing?
B. Do they tickle your feet or neck until your laughter turns to screams of joy?
C. Do they tell you they love you many times and often?

These are the signs that you are a Snipee and they are a Snipor.

Definitions:  Snipee is someone that has been over powered by someone demonstrating Snipe behavior.  Snipor is a human that is demonstrating Snipe behavior to a loved one.

  1. Snipes will not hurt you, but they will try real hard to scare you into laughter
  2. All “True” Snipes are four legged
  3. Snipes come in all different shapes, sizes, and colors.  But all “True” Snipes must have the following characteristics:
    1. Either the right or left legs are two-thirds shorter or longer than the other side.  Snipes are different than any other land animal because of this unique body trait.
  4. Because of the difference in leg lengths, Snipes have a problem.  They cannot walk on flat land because they will fall over and hurt their backs.  If they hurt their backs they sleep all the time.  We will only see them when they get better.  This is the main reason Snipes are usually found near uneven ground, like mountains.
  5. Two of the most familiar types of Snipes found around here are the left hand and right hand species.  The right hand Snipe has his long legs on the down hill side where as the left hand species has his legs reversed.  Another unique characteristic about Snipes is that all true Snipes must lead with their long front legs, hence the right hand Snipes can only go around the mountain from left to right and the left hand species is reversed.  Occasionally left and right hand Snipes will meet each other eye to eye on the other side of the mountain.
  6. Snipes cannot back up or walk backwards and because of this they can get stuck when they meet others going in the opposite direction on the same trail.  Snipes cannot side step to let other’s pass.  How is this problem solved?  What would you do to solve this problem? Well her is the absolute truth as told to me by the master Snipe hunger in Barrett Junction Biker Tommy.  Tommy told me while sipping on a can of his favorite Monk’s Brew (root beer) that all Snipes may by pass each other if they stop in or on a forked pathway.  They may let others pass if the small Snipes snorts three times, then gives a shy giggle and looks the other way.  Tommy wan not sure what that meant but it usually gets rid of the traffic jam.  Another method, but most rare is the jump routine.  Under ideal conditions a young healthy snipe may do a world class standing long jump over the downhill snaller snipe.  Tommy stated that the most common method for passing Snipes on the same pathway was the smaller snipe must collapse and roll down the hill, laughing all the way to show respect for the larger parent like snipe.  Baby Snipes are different, they have been see to pass under the much larger Snipes.  Similar to a train passing through a tunnel.  Older Snipes seem to love this most of all because they get a chance to tickle and harass the young into laughter.
  7. Snipes, as mentioned earlier come in all shapes, sizes and colors.  Most Snipe types demonstrate a multicolor pattern of happy colors.
  8. Snipes are similar to humans in that some have big ears and small ears, some have smooth or hairy skin, some have big noses that are long or small and short.  Whatever you see will be exaggerated because Snipes want to be different so you will never forget them.

Well, now that you know a little about Snipes in and around Barrett Junction and the World Famous Barrett Junction Cafe, you are ready to go Snipe hunting.  A word to the wise, you will need to learn the rules of Snipe hunting furst or you may be frightened on your first outting.  Don’t be afraid because they love you.

I am so proud that you will be taught the finer points of Snipe hunting by the one and only Biker Tommy.  Tommy is a life time Snipe hunter and has taken notes on all his expeditions.  He has given us permission to provide excerpts from his official Snipe Hunting Diary.  You are so lucky to be taught by the best.  Enjoy and good hunting.

Barrett Junction Style Snipe Hunting Directions

by Biker Tommy

Rule #1  Snipe hunting is only done after dark

Rule #2  You will need an empty pillow case or gunny sack (One per person at least)

Rule #3  Depending on the time of year, dress so you are comfortable (warm or cool).  You will need to dress with long sleeve cover shirt that is brightly colored.

Rule #4 Bring snacks, drinks (water) because it may be a long night.

Rule #5 Bring a flashlight but don’t use it unless you have to, because Snipes don’t like the light and you will frighten them away.

Rule #6  Remember snakes come out at night so make sure you keep your feet off the ground.  Bring a chair.  Then you can sit in the chair and put your feet on something off the ground.

Rule #7 No camp fires, because the light will frighten off the Snipes.  Remember that Barrett Junction is in a number ten fire zone.  That means it is extremely dangerous to have an open fire around this area.

Rule #8  Snipes are on the endangered list so they are in the Federal Protection Program.  Catch and Release only.  You may not take them home.  You will have to come back to see the Snipes of Barrett Junction again and again.  Toy Snipes may be purchased at the World Famous Barrett Junction Cafe and Mercantile or other locations as authorized.

Rule #9  Be careful.  Remember Snipes are practical jokers and they will not hurt you because they love you, but they will try and scare you into laughing.  Be on guard at all times.  No Sleeping.

To be continued, next chapter is about how to catch a Snipe.   We hope you have enjoyed this excerpt, be sure to return for the next chapter.

Would you like to enjoy our World Famous Fish Fry?  Come on out to the Cafe and enjoy the All You Can Eat Alaskan Cod or Pollock Fish Dinner.  Directions are here. .

Do you have any tips for Snipe hunting?  Please leave a comment.  We love to hear your stories.


Little Tecate Peak

Have you seen a Snipe here?

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